The gods may demand that we follow their path, but only by our own will can we find our true destiny. -Lagertha

The sweetest joys of life grow in the very jaws of its perils. -Herman Melville

November 2023

In the silence of a stroll through nature, one confronts the tempestuous elements that characterize the human journey. Imagine a walk through a rugged mountain landscape during a cloudy, misty morning, where ruminations on the essence of existence assume control of the conscious mind.

Stepping back into my youth, a certain camping expedition during a rainstorm yielded acute boredom. Going outside during a storm was a messy and risky proposition. Feelings of lethargy eventually caused me to venture from the comforts of the encampment into the cold and drizzly unknown. A surprising and unexpected transformation unfurled — an evolution from reticence to resilience, and from resilience to wonder. Discoveries not available on a clear day.

Now, amid the nuanced narrative of my 50s, reflections upon the parallels between life and the metaphorical journey into the rainstorm invoke a sense of introspection. Existential queries, once encountered in simple youth, resurface anew when confronting life's inclement trials. The timeless refrain of, "Why me, God? Why now?" reverberates through the sheltered corridors of my contemplation, challenging the belief that a morsel of virtue ought to beget divine protection.

The inquiry into divine benevolence of the human condition in the face of adversity and uncertainty undergoes a deeper examination, pivoting towards an exploration of human frailty. In this, the divine hand does not mete out misfortune; rather, it is mankind's indolence, ignorance, and selfishness that orchestrates the cacophony of tribulations. Deity's allowance of our frailty to break and remold us - with bitter pain - yields a profound reverence of the unfolding tapestry of life itself. It is only our stubborn insecurities and resultant vanities that limits us.

God provides a profound redirection for navigating these mist-laden pathways of life — to forsake the conventional pursuit of simplicity, safety, peace, and contentment. And imparts a call to growth, understanding, and wisdom through the crucible of uncertainty/doubt, disagreement, vulnerability, discomfort, pain, and the audacious embrace of the enigmatic unknown. It is within this transformative crucible that answers manifest in unexpected quarters. God desires to break and reform us rather than safely harbor us.

Anon my soul is truly broken. The inner places revealed, allowing light to penetrate its fractures. I yearn for direction and deeper comprehension. "Where is God's enlightenment? Who is inspired?" I ponder the decades of institutional instruction from education, church, and state. The responses are incomplete and often even deeply unsatisfying. Is this existential uncertainty valid or merely a folly of mind?

My thoughts turns to search for precidents in human history that can be modeled. The ghosts of history whisper. Reflect on early American history and the malignant stain of human slavery - a dilemma that persisted for centuries. Before the turbulent US Civil War, North, South and West used God, economics, and political power as their justification to end slavery and to keep it. Almost humorous, if not for the fact that 620,000 persons perished in a war between brothers. In hindsight, it clear slavery harbored ignorance, hindered economic growth, and increased human misery.

What guidance preempted and spared those hundreds of thousands? Or intevened to heal the racism and hate that followed? Whispers from history warns against blind trust in institutions. The model sought still hides. The dark clouds still loom overhead. The path remains illusive. Yet assuredly, it would be foolish to completely discard institutions or surrender our hearts and minds to them. Be wary and do not prematurely retire, weary traveler.

While these storms saturate the soul, God prevents its drowning. Perhaps it’s all matter of perspective. Life's journey is enhanced wandering through occasional dark clouds, along uncertain paths, with palpable risks, and sometimes with broken hearts. These intemperate elements create an environment where rationality falters, doubts surface, and courage and curiosity become the guiding light. Admist this uncertainty the sojourner who prudently and courageously steps forth will learn life is truely sublime. Shrouded peaks occasionally reveal themselves. Deep forests, vibrant meadows, and bubbling streams, all teaming with life are discovered. The rains bring indescribable vibrancy to life. The wounded and scarred soul deepens its roots, yields new growth and grows stronger.

Answers are available to the diligent sojourner. God is out there. But we must discard our pride, and free ourselves to expirience, to communicate, to learn, and improve journey for others. Staying cloistered, comfortable, and contained means death is a certainty.

Take courage my inexpirienced, tremulous, young soul! God is best found in the personal, sincere, curious and courageous navigation through the travails of life.